so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
