I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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