he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
