my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
