will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Randomize
