Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
