its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
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