A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
