New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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