Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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