i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
