For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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