my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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