I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
