It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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