idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
