Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
