Christians are straight up FREAKS
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
