I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
