Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
