Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
my shit smells like andre
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
