I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
last night I used snow as a chaser
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
