Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
party gras won. party gras always wins.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
