C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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