So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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