One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
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