i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
