Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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