Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
