so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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