i don't plan on having that self control this summer
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
