I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
