I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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