Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
babies were throwing up all over the place
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
