I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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