it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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