My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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