if i can run in heels then i can drive
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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