If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
