apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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