Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
