So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
