Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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