i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
