I just made out with a guy for $7.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
