Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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