Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
