??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
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