Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize