I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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