"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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