I need to stop coming to work sober
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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