The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize