the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
