Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
