3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
