brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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