dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
you told grandpa to call you daddy
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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