How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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